MOM of 7 Dates Her Kids!
When I was divorcing my first husband my kids and I came up with this “date” concept. Simply, we would take turns having one-on-one time with each other. For three hours or so, generally on a weekend, one child and I would go somewhere (generally they got to pick) and we’d make it fun.
I loved it. I used it as a time to tell them what was going on (with the divorce) and figure out where they stood with all the change. The concept stuck and now several years later, we still do this.
Last weekend, my 10 year old, Ian, was driving me nuts. The first problem is that he is too much like me so we butt heads quite a bit. I love him dearly, but he’s one intense child, very strong-willed and very type A personality. Hmmm, wonder where he got all this—I’ll blame it all on my X husband but we all know that’s a lie! :)
The entire weekend I felt like I was having to correct him, redirect him, set him straight. So by the end of the weekend I was convinced HE HATED ME! Come on, you know how I feel. We’ve all been there. As parents you struggle with correcting/over correcting versus not doing a thing and if you know me I strongly abhor NOT DOING A THING. I have to do something. But after several episodes of confrontation with him I’m worn out emotionally.
So imagine my surprise, in the middle of the rough weekend, he asks ME for “boy time/girl time.” (that’s what he we call it: Boy time Girl Time or Girl Time) Of course, I said YES! Any opportunity to regroup in a positive way with my kids, I’m all about. So we agreed upon Monday night (last night).
Honestly, I haven’t seen this all American, sports loving boy be this excited in a long time. He instant messaged me as soon he got home yesterday. He couldn’t contain the excitement in his 10-year-old brain.
But what made this night ultra cool was that once again I was reminded how important it is for us to make one-on-one time for each of our kids. Honestly, I find out the most and greatest information when I take the time to slow down and spend one-on-one time with them.
Yesterday, Ian was in his typical form asking deep question that HE initiated; questions about Heaven and Hell and sex and drugs, alcohol. He asked questions most 20 year olds wouldn’t ever ask their parents. He asked questions that he would NEVER ask if I hadn’t taken the time to be alone with him.
One of the last questions he asked was about hearing the voice of God. How? He wondered.
We finished our thoughts and questions as we pulled into the driveway nearly three hours after we started our “date”. I put the car in Park and Ian said “thanks!” I said…”for what?” He said, “thanks for everything Mom.”
The way he thanked me was so incredibly sincere sounding it truly touched my heart. I thought to myself, I didn’t spend any money on him (he used his allowance) but I gave him my time, and my thoughts and together we made great conversation. And for that, he thanked me from his heart.
My friends, NEVER UNDER-ESTIMATE THE POWER OF ONE-ON-ONE TIME WITH YOUR KIDS!