MOM of 7

….life AMPLIFIED by 7 kids!

Parenting—You decide which way is best! 01/09/2012

Parenting---You decide which way is best!

Parenting with coffee VERSUS Parenting with wine. Enough said!

 

A Letter To My Daughters 05/24/2011

Filed under: Better Life,Kids — Mom Of 7 @ 11:31 am
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(I stumbled upon this today.  It’s worth the read not only for every Mom but a letter I believe every daughter would benefit from.  Well done!)

A Difficult Letter.

by TENA on MARCH 7, 2011

in MOTHERHOOD,PARENTING

To my daughters,

I preach to you the strength of women, and how you can do anything you put your mind to.  I tell you that you are perfect in every way, and to believe in yourself.   I teach you to be respectful, responsible, and independent beings.  All of this is sincere and meant with the best of  intentions.

However, it seems my biggest lesson should be to do as I say and not as I do.  It’s time you know that your mother is a hypocrite.  I have made so many mistakes in raising you, but if I do only one thing right, I can make you understand your worth and give you the confidence that I don’t have.

Learn from my mistakes, my insecurities, my self-doubt.

Trying on outfit after outfit, not being satisfied with the reflection in the mirror, crying about the numbers on the scale- these are things to avoid.  Don’t be so critical and hard on yourself.

Do as I say and not as I do.

Be proud of yourself and your achievements.  You are brilliant and talented.  You work hard and deserve success.

Do as I say and not as I do.

Extra pounds, zits, or bad hair days do not define you.  You are gorgeous inside and out and don’t let anyone make you think otherwise.

Do as I say and not as I do.

See yourself through other people’s eyes.  Accept compliments graciously.  They are telling you what they see, what everyone sees,  the beauty that is there.

 

Arnold Father’s a LOVE CHILD! 05/17/2011

He has come clean!  Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child with a member of his household staff over 10 years ago!

 

Talk about a bombshell! Just last week Maria Shriver andArnold Schwarzenegger announced their split after a 25-year marriage. Turns out that wasn’t the only shocking announcement from their camp. Arnold has officially publicly admitted to fathering a love child with a former staffer! 

OK! GALLERY: MARIA SHRIVER & ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER SPLIT — 25 PHOTOS FOR 25 YEARS OF MARRIAGE

Here’s the scoop: Over ten years ago Arnold had a child with a member of their household staff. Yes, you read that right. Someone on their staff! As in, in their house. After discovering this truth, Maria moved out of their Brentwood mansion earlier this year. According to The Los Angeles Times (via PopEater), the staffer worked for them for twenty years and retired in January. Her name hasn’t been released.

OK! NEWS: ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER AVOIDS MARIA SHRIVER QUESTION WITH AN “HASTA LA VISTA”

In a statement Arnold indicated, ”After leaving the governor’s office I told my wife about this event, which occurred over a decade ago.” He added, “I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family. There are no excuses and I take full responsibility for the hurt I have caused. I have apologized to Maria, my children and my family. I am truly sorry.”

OK! NEWS: MARIA SHRIVER & ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER SPLIT AFTER 25 YEARS

While it sounds like he may be ready for the scrutiny, Arnold requested respect for Maria and their four children. ”I ask that the media respect my wife and children through this extremely difficult time. While I deserve your attention and criticism, my family does not.”

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/arnold-schwarzenegger-fathers-love-child-13619260

 

MOM of 7 Dates Her Kids! 03/08/2011

Filed under: Faith,family,Ian,Kids — Mom Of 7 @ 3:34 pm
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MOM of 7 Dates Her Kids!

When I was divorcing my first husband my kids and I came up with this “date” concept.  Simply, we would take turns having one-on-one time with each other.  For three hours or so, generally on a weekend, one child and I would go somewhere (generally they got to pick) and we’d make it fun.

I loved it.  I used it as a time to tell them what was going on (with the divorce) and figure out where they stood with all the change.  The concept stuck and now several years later, we still do this.

Last weekend, my 10 year old, Ian, was driving me nuts.  The first problem is that he is too much like me so we butt heads quite a bit.  I love him dearly, but he’s one intense child, very strong-willed and very type A personality.  Hmmm, wonder where he got all this—I’ll blame it all on my X husband but we all know that’s a lie!  :)

The entire weekend I felt like I was having to correct him, redirect him, set him straight.  So by the end of the weekend I was convinced HE HATED ME!  Come on, you know how I feel.  We’ve all been there.  As parents you struggle with correcting/over correcting versus not doing a thing and if  you know me I strongly abhor NOT DOING A THING.  I have to do something.   But after several episodes of confrontation with him I’m worn out emotionally.

So imagine my surprise, in the middle of the rough weekend, he asks ME for “boy time/girl time.”  (that’s what he we call it:  Boy time Girl Time or Girl Time)  Of course, I said YES!  Any opportunity to regroup in a positive way with my kids, I’m all about.   So we agreed upon Monday night (last night).

Honestly, I haven’t seen this all American, sports loving boy be this excited in a long time.  He instant messaged me as soon  he got home yesterday.  He couldn’t contain the excitement in his 10-year-old brain.

By 5:30 yesterday we were on the road to Dick’s Sporting Goods.  He was in Heaven.  And I was in Heaven cuz he was spending his allowance money, not my money.  :)

But what made this night ultra cool was that once again I was reminded how important it is for us to make one-on-one time for each of our kids.  Honestly, I find out the most and greatest information when I take the time to slow down and spend one-on-one time with them.

Yesterday, Ian was in his typical form asking deep question that HE initiated; questions about Heaven and Hell and sex and drugs, alcohol.  He asked questions most 20 year olds wouldn’t ever ask their parents.  He asked questions that he would NEVER ask if I hadn’t taken the time to be alone with him.

One of the last questions he asked was about hearing the voice of God.  How? He wondered.

We finished our thoughts and questions as we pulled into the driveway nearly three hours after we started our “date”.  I put the car in Park and Ian said “thanks!”  I said…”for what?”  He said, “thanks for everything Mom.”

The way he thanked me was so incredibly sincere sounding it truly touched my heart.  I thought to myself, I didn’t spend any money on him (he used his allowance) but I gave him my time, and my thoughts and together we made great conversation.  And for that, he thanked me from his heart.

My friends, NEVER UNDER-ESTIMATE THE POWER OF ONE-ON-ONE TIME WITH YOUR KIDS!

 

Mothers LEAVING Their Kids For Careers. The BIG DEBATE! 03/04/2011

Mothers LEAVING Their Kids For Careers.  The BIG DEBATE!

 

Everyone is talking about THIS woman.  She felt she had “lost” herself after having her children and while working overseas she left her husband and two young children.  She just LEFT!

My head is spinning.  I don’t want to judge her and am trying not to be legalistic or narrow-minded.  But life is so difficult even when parents are together, let alone having to deal with a Mother who on surface level just LEFT her kids.  She says they’re fine.  Four of our children see their Mother every other weekend, at best.  I see how it hurts them; I see the internal conflict/struggle.

What do you think……

Ten years ago, Rahna Reiko Rizzuto–author ofHiroshima in the Morning–planned to spend six months in Japan doing research for her book before returning home to her husband and two young sons.

What she discovered about herself there changed her life forever.

“I realized that I had lost myself a little bit, and I wanted to give myself more priority,” she told TheToday Show‘s Meredith Vieira Thursday morning. So she eventually ended her 20-year marriage, and walked away from her family.

“I didn’t want to be a mother, and that was because I had this idea that motherhood was this all-encompassing thing and I was afraid of being swallowed up by that.” (more…)

 

Always a MOM of 7. NEVER a MOM of 8! :(

I know it sounds crazy.  Totally crazy.  Being a MOM of 8 sounds certifiable CRAZY!  Right?

When I was growing up I thought I would only have one child as an adult.  So I laugh often when I think….God, why did you give me 7?

In my first marriage, I had twins at the age of 28.  About 2.5 years later, I had our third child.  We were done; HIS shop was permanently closed.  Well, fast forward a number of years, and a divorce and now a remarriage and I’ll be honest with you, I struggle GREATLY with the thought that Stephen and I will NEVER have our own children.

Stephen’s shop…closed, yet perhaps reversible.  My shop?  Different story.  A few years ago, just PRIOR (ironic) to meeting Stephen, I had to have a pretty drastic surgery (we essentially had to fry my uterus) that complete prevents me from having any more children.

The desire to have another child is HUGE!  I love being pregnant.  I love the baby stage.  I love, love, love 6 months to about 2 years.  I love the smiles, the laughs, the little innocent personality that develops in front of my own eyes.

I look at friends baby pictures on Facebook and I just LONG for a baby.   I see videos like this one and my heart aches to experience this stage once again!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP4abiHdQpc&feature=player_embedded

Stephen says we need to look forward to our kids having kids.  Um, I say…no thanks.  Not ready for that!  :)  I want MY OWN!  LOL.

So, my reality is this….7 is enough.  I LOVE our 7.  I also know the Lord had a different plan and Stephen and I were never meant to have our own children. Our “plates” are full with 7 and the challenges are huge and days are long. But I’ll be honest with you, I think I will always be a little sad that after finding amazing love and a real partner in life with Stephen, that the two of us will never know what it’s like to have a child of our own.

Cuz shoot…..if we had a child of our own, that would be ONE REALLY TALL child!

 

Pregnant: But Not Her Child! 03/03/2011

Pregnant:  But Not Her Child!!!

(Here’s a true story from this morning…..)

 

This morning the elevator door opened and I nearly ran smack into this very good-looking couple coming out.  Feeling silly that didn’t give them enough room to exit the elevator, I smiled and said a cheery “Good Morning.”

Neither of them responded to me.  Odd, I thought…..but I sensed a lot of sadness from this adorable couple.   My only clue that this couple was here, where I work (700 CLUB), to be on-air was that they were being escorted by our woman in charge of GUEST SERVICES.

Fifteen minutes into the LIVE show I suddenly realized that the couple I nearly plowed over in the elevator was here to tell their story….a complicated story of being inseminated (via IVF) with a different couple’s baby.

It was a simple “clerical error!”  That’s what the couple called it.  For 9 months this woman carried someone else’s child.  This couple had a choice, but chose to keep the baby, fully knowing it wasn’t theirs.  They say they had a “duty” to bring this child into the world.

They turned a devastating time into something beautiful!

But, their story doesn’t stop there.   (more…)

 

 
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